Let’s Talk About Snail Sex

September 16, 2023 By Just A Snail

Let’s Talk About Snail Sex

For the past few months, snails across North America have been hiding in their shells to avoid 100 degree heat. However, the fall ushers in a promising new era for these little gastropods: cuffing season. 

Like many college students who have returned to school after break, snails are ready to get busy. But while you’ll be busy with math homework, snails will be mating to lay hundreds of eggs to continue their slimy bloodline. 

Feeling Out “The One”

Before a snail can reproduce, they need to find their other half. They do this primarily by smelling and tasting the slimy trails of the closest Hot Single In Their Area. A lot less complicated than Tinder, if not equally messy. 

“But snails are hermaphrodites, doesn’t that mean they can mate with themselves???” you may be asking. OK, you cheeky reader, you got me! While it is possible for snails to impregnate themselves, this is often rare and leads to genetically weak offspring. So while they can self-fertilize, it doesn’t mean they should. 

Plus, who doesn’t want a companion to hold, cherish and slither next to during those cold fall nights?

A Love Dart to The Heart

Once two lovesick snails cross paths, how do they mate? Snail courtship and copulation can last as long as 12 hours. Talk about foreplay! 

Speaking of foreplay, snails continue smelling and feeling each other, sometimes for hours on end, before they actually begin to get down and dirty. 

But their honeymoon is eventually violently cut short by the love dart. One snail — or sometimes both — fires this needle-like instrument straight into their mate’s body. Some scientists say this feels like getting stabbed by a 15-inch knife. 

This move is not just kinky, but strategic as well. The dart injects hormones that help sperm survive longer. This increases the chance that the resulting eggs will carry on the dominant snail’s genes.

But this is NOT the end of the snail hookup sesh. After the love dart is injected, snails can finally begin the fun. Describing their next actions will probably get this website banned in a few countries, so I’ll let you imagine the rest. 

From Clutches to Cuties

With the right conditions, snails can mate once a month and lay one to three clutches of eggs every year. Each clutch contains anywhere from 20 to 80 eggs, and around 20% of those eggs become healthy adult snails. Imagine how many chairs they’ll need for Thanksgiving!

Having a lot of babies is an adaptation snails have that ensures they carry on their genes. Typically, the amount of offspring a species produces is associated with how much care they provide. For example, humans have one baby per year (maybe two or three if they’re lucky) because they provide them with care for around 18 years before shipping them off to college. 

Snail eggs get shipped off to college the moment they exit their mom’s birth hole. Well, sort of. Once they hatch, baby snails are expected to find their own lettuce, dodge their own predators and mate when they’re ready. 



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